Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Apparently, I require a pleasantry to start a conversation. Not every conversation. Just the first one, with you, each day. When I walk in to work at 7:55 a.m. you can't just start yapping at me. I require a hello, good morning, or even a hey. It doesn't have to be elaborate, but it has to be there. You can try to start your line of questioning without it. Go ahead. I double-dog dare you. But if efficiency is your goal, you better throw in a good morning. Seriously.

As always, there are a few caveats. If I am on fire, you may tell me so without the requisite greeting. If your foot is caught in a bear trap, you may request assistance without first asking if I slept well. Do you need to know where the extra paper clips are hiding? Then yes, you must offer the aforementioned pleasantry. Why? Because its just nice and the world need a little more nice.

If you are in a hurry, then you better hurry up and get the greeting out of the way. I do not intend to take up any more of your time than necessary. My time, actually, is much more important to me. I don't want to chat. I don't care about your drive to work. I just don't want to be barked at the moment we see each other.

If you think that you're moving the conversation along a little faster by skipping the greeting, you are wrong. Very, very wrong. Here's why. Without the proper greeting, I will stop. Sigh. Shake my head in disgust. Sign again. Tie my shoe. Possibly purse my lips and ponder the mistake. And then look in your eye and say, "Good morning." That's all. It's now up to you to start again with your line of questioning. Are you any closer to the paper clips? I think not.

Each day offers a new hope and that new hope starts with a cheerful greeting. You may say, "Good morning. Where are the f*$%ing paper clips?" I'm perfectly fine with that. I can roll with that.

Am I allowed this little eccentricity? Yes, I am. It's one of the few and I intend to hold on to it. Good day.

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